The Penetration of Ass-crack Fortress

Session Date: January 10, 2025

We arrived at The Fortress of Ass-crack and met the motley crew of front guard at the gate; a rad water bird, rude-ass Lickitung mofo, some dust bunnies and one very, very sad archer.

Zakm blasted the water chicken out of existence, then accidentally eviscerated the tornado blade boys.

Xandria holy slapped the lickitung ho after he gave her a highly non-consensual tonguing.

Remi showed up to fuck. He entombed the poor archer immediately upon stepping onto the battlefield. Then he ended the fucking fight by chain lightninging in the remaining five dudes.

We took down the wards and entered Asscrackers' house. A fiendy cleric and his spidey pals greeted us at the door. As webs started slinging, an angry carpet joined the fray, but just as quickly fell to Zakm.

The spiders were little bastards, but in the end we fucked them with their own dick legs.

Despite doing his very best Smashmouth impression, the cleric finally got knocked down, but did not get back up again.

Notable quotes: "Get over there and fuck that spider with its own dick legs." -Xan